Blogging is new to me but it has been something I have always wanted to do. I have been told that blogging is cheaper then therapy and I would most likely get better feedback. I hope that is true because I have a lot I need to get out.
First, let's start with who and what I am. I am a 31 year old wife and mother to two beautiful children ages 3 and 15 months. I am a Real Estate Agent and a Salesperson at a yearbook company. I am multi-talented and ambitious but who would know that. My husband tells me I already have three strikes against me when it comes to the business world. I'm plus size, I'm black and a women. Because of this I have to work harder just to prove myself. In the 10 plus years of working in the corporate world and even in Real Estate, I have experienced being looked over for jobs or promotions because people assume that I am not capable. I could have been the best sales person on the team or my project was presented and received the most praise but it was never good enough. But I am always good enough to clean up everyone's messes and problems. It seems like I am always playing the background to a man or the pretty skinny woman and I hate it.
I know I am not the only one this happens too. My question is why does it happen? If I am good enough to research and design the presentation why should someone else present it? Why do people look me over as if my resume is a lie? Then, even when I prove myself and go above and beyond my job, I still do not get the recognition I deserve or the pay. Where do I go wrong? I can not change the fact that I am a woman nor that I am black but I can lose weight. But who is to say that losing weight will make things better? I know I can not change peoples perceptions of certain types of people, but how do I change their perception of me?
It seems like I have tried everything but nothing is working. Then I started to think, why should I have to work so hard to prove myself? I am a valuable asset to any team I join or any venture I take on. I am ambitious, hard working, a go getter and open minded to learning new things. I'm creative, organized and have a great attention to detail. You would think someone with my experience and skill set would have tons of opportunities. So where are my opportunities?
I have tons more to say but I am going to save some of my next posting.
I welcome all thoughts and comments.
Danielle - I love this blog! You will get the support you need (and can afford). I share your problem in my life and the work place. Sometimes, I feel like work is like a 5th grade playground - the cool kids get the props and the rest of us have to fight - at the end of the day, none of it's Fair. We can effect change with our families to change how they treat us and view us. You only *owe* something to yourself and your children - any other relationships need to be give and take. When they aren't, stop giving so much - they will either 'get it', or they wont. I commend you for reaching out and you will move mountains with your courage and strength! You can count on that! - H
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your support and kind words. I know this problem does not only affect black women but all women. I just hope that people will take a step back and realize that you can't judge people by their race, gender or size. But there is more to come so I hope you keep following me.
ReplyDeletewell sweetheart like I said before if that company don't recognize you and your talents it's their loss. it's just a shame that you have to go through so many trials and tribulations to prove yourself. I know what you have to offer and what you can bring to the table you are very talented and a tremendous asset. I will always be that rock, loving hug, and your protector. Eternally Maid New. Your loving husband.
ReplyDeleteAww baby thank you. You are truly a loving and supportive husband.
ReplyDeleteDear Danielle,
ReplyDeleteI remember when you first walked into my Korman Leasing Office. I do agree with your husband for some part. It is just the way of the world. Trust and know your strength, so much new things will lie ahead for you. I have faced many off your same challenges.
We have all faced my challenges. When you are always forced to the background you start to forget what you are worth. I am finally breaking out of my shell and doing me. I know you are a powerhouse yourself. Keep it going because it motivates others.
ReplyDeleteThank you.
I luv dis , I wish alot of women would speak up like yu . Yu are a strong women and dats y I look up to yu , I kuv yu so much.
ReplyDeleteLuv yur lil sister .
Thank you lil sister for your kind words and support.
ReplyDeleteWe live in 2012 not 1961 weight, being a women and being black is not always the problem and if it is then you need to move to a area where it is the norm. You are beautiful and if you want to lose the weight than do it for you not for anyone else. Maybe if your job does not value you then you meed to branch off on your own doing something you don't mind doing. Something you love and will rush to get up to do. This blog is the first start. If you own your real estate business than maybe you need to look into marketing different. The economy is bad and people are not looking to buy maybe you should switch to rentals. I'm not going to write a sermon but if no one else is telling you that you are phenomenal than hear it from me today! Suppa Model http://iamsuppamodel.wordpress.com/
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your support and comments. It always feels good to hear positive things from other people.
ReplyDelete