Confidence is defined as the state of being certain that something is correct or what is best for you. Self-confidence is having confidence in oneself. For a very long time I was lacking that self-confidence. Many women, that are my size (US size 22) lack the confidence needed to put themselves out there. We fear the idea of venturing out of our comfort zones and try a new look. Well today, I am proud to say that I do not lack the confidence anymore. Here are a few of the steps I have taken to break out of my shell and build my confidence.
1) I changed my hair. Lately I have been wearing my natural wavy short hair. I love it. It is easy to manage and with having to get two small children out the door before 7am Monday-Friday it is very low maintenance. Last Saturday while I was in Philadelphia PA, with Designer Nicole Nolan (Owner of Elocin Boutique in Trenton NJ) we stopped in to Lois A Wig and Hair Boutique on 4th Street (www.loisawigs.com). We met the owner Lois Arnold, a very lovely woman, who helped me look for my new look. I immediately reached for the short "safe" wig that I would always gravitate too. I tried it on and they both told me that it makes me look older. Then I reached for a straight wig with a little more length and that one did not work for me either. Finally, Nicole said she needs drama a volume to her hair. We found the perfect wig. It is long, curly and dramatic. Nowhere near my comfort zone and my normal look. It took me a minute to get comfortable wearing the wig but now I love it. I wore it yesterday and I felt myself standing up straighter and putting a little extra pump in my walk. I never knew hair could be so powerful. I felt like I was a different person just by changing my hair. Now I cannot wait to start to experiment with more colors and styles.
2) I brightened up every aspect of myself. At one point in my life, I think I was afraid of bright colors. Most of my clothes were black, brown and dark blue. I would rarely wear reds, yellows, greens and pinks. My favorite color is purple and I would not even wear that. I always thought that wearing bright colors would draw attention to my size. I had a fear of looking like a yellow school bus or Barney. Now, 95% of my wardrobe is colorful. I love my colors. I even get teased now about the colorful dresses and shirts that I like. I have adopted color when it comes to my footwear too. I no longer just have black shoes and boots. I now have red, pink, silver, multi-color and purple shoes. I recently purchased a pair of white and yellow sneakers. So not like me. I now pledge never to use cotton candy nail polish again. Well, maybe I will use it occasionally. For the first time, I used orange and yellow nail polish; and I love it. I think my next manicure & pedicure I will use pink. Finally, I brightened the colors I use on my face. I now wear red and purple lip color and I started wearing eye shadow. I am experimenting with MAC Electric Cool Eye Shadows. I know that Pure Flash and Highly Charged will be my new favorite eye shadows. Sometime I know I look like a clown but I own it and wear it with pride and sassy confidence.
3) I own me. It does not matter your size, what you wear or how you look, as long as you own it. If you like it, you are happy and you feel good, who cares what anyone else thinks. It took me almost 3 decades to adopt this thought process. What I found to be helpful is to surround yourself with positive people. I found people who encouraged me to break out of my shell and expand my horizons. I had to let go of the people who were holding me back and dragging me down. That opened up the door for so many positive people to come into my life. They are now encouraging me to step out of my zone and explore the rest of the world. I am in the process of scheduling a photo shoot to reveal my new look to the world.
Well if you are going to be in Philadelphia PA on September 1st, you can see me in person. I will be at the Curvy Closets Plus Size Fashion Showcase at Marathon 1818 Market Street Philadelphia PA 19103. I met some of the models and designers yesterday and I know it will be a great show.
You can purchase tickets at www.curvyclosets.eventbrite.com Hope to see you there!
It you do not take anything away from reading this, please
remember this, you determine if you will be happy or not. It does not
matter if you are male or female, big or small, you have to own you. Do
what makes you happy, feel good, and surround yourself with positive people.
